Yesterday a friend came by and brought a pair of coffee cups he had picked up in his travels. He looked fresh and energetic. There was even a whiff of cologne. I gave him a hug and before I could stop them, the words were out of my lips: “You smell good!”
I was exhausted and when we get to that place, it is too tiring to lie or conceal the truth. I was too tired to play games, too tired for inhibitions or the guilt I have been told I should feel...but don’t. Too tired for anything but the truth. Titles fell away and all I saw was a man who, at that particular moment, looked and smelled GOOD.
Over the years I have seen my friend happy, playful and sweaty, tired and dejected, formal but distant, fussy, nervous and shy. He is a man who I care about and, if there is any guilt involved, it is only that I am human too – a tired woman with limitations who can’t always give him what he needs and deserves.
It was a brief moment in time. He had errands to run, things to do. Perhaps one day he will stay and I will make us some coffee and we will sit quietly, enjoying each other’s presence, and drinking from those beautiful cups. Yesterday, however, we just went our separate ways, savoring only memories.